Do You Have the Same Attributes You Want in a Soul Mate?

02.25.21
Do You Have the Same Attributes You Want in a Soul Mate? (Illustration: Malte Mueller/Getty Images)

Social media influencer B. Simone recently sparked a controversial conversation about how you should possess the same qualities you require in a partner. Although she faced severe backlash about her views, the overall message wasn’t inaccurate. 

In the viral video, she explained how your list of requirements should match the same list of attributes you can bring to the table. If you seek a financially stable or family-loving partner, you should be this as well.

“ … We got all these things we want in a man … He gotta be tall, he gotta be dark, he gotta be handsome, he gotta have pretty feet, he gotta be a family man, he gotta be financially stable, he gotta be rich, he gotta be successful,” B. Simone said on Instagram. “He gotta be all these things and we ain’t even half the things on that list.”

Most gathered from the video that she was shaming Black women and those who support her. Others were simply upset about the message coming from B. Simone and her arguably being hypocritical about this situation due to her previous manifestation videos.

“What B Simone said is just basic common sense but black women don’t need to be reminded every five seconds that we have to bring something to the table. Actually, we bring wayyyy more to the table than anybody else. Statistically,” @_Braylynn tweeted.

However, the video’s sole purpose was to address that people, not just women, desire things in a partner that they don’t have themselves, which makes it harder for them to find love. 

Younger generations and society speak highly of independence and not depending on someone, especially a man, for anything. But, when it comes to relationships, it appears to be a different story.

Setting an endless list of standards for a romantic partner doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any of those qualities yourself. It is vital to possess, not all, but similar qualities to the ones you seek in a partner to have a successful relationship.

“#BSimone has said some controversial things, but what she’s saying now about manifesting your partner is the truth & if you’re mad at that it’s because you don’t want to work on your flaws. You can’t want the perfect man when you’re not perfect yourself, self reflection is key,”  @_shadaciaa tweeted. 

No one wants a partner who isn’t on the same level or strives to get to that same level of success as them because people subsciously want to be inspired or motivated by their partners. It is essential to come into a relationship with most of the skills and qualities you are seeking, and add, not subtract, to it. If not, it could result in a series of problems, and eventual breakup.

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