As he transitions to being male, Youth Radio’s Cole Carman, 18, wrestles with whether to retain any part of his female past.
Earlier this year, I was supposed to get my first testosterone shot, but instead, I ended up taking female hormones.
Last year, when I discovered the term transgender, I was like yes! That’s me! I just wanted to hurry my transition to male — forget that I was ever female and lose the transgender label all together. But I was thrown off when my doctor handed me a pamphlet about planning for my future fertility. She asked if I was interested in freezing my eggs before I started taking male hormones.
When I chose to freeze my eggs, It delayed my transition more than a month. It forced me to be real with myself, reexamine what it meant to be a man.
The idea of taking female hormones, felt like a huge step backwards. But I did want to have biological kids someday. Which was possible, if I was willing to take some of my past self with me.
I was a different type of man, and having lived as a woman was a part of that. Some men are born and some men are made.