State of the Union Drinking Game 2019 Edition

My fellow Americans drinkers,

Tonight is the night of President Trump’s second State of the Union address. The White House has said the speech will include calls for bipartisanship and immigration reform (which, at this point, seem not at all possible at the same time), and an agenda for the second half of his term. 

Since Democrats regained the House in the 2018 midterm elections, that agenda might be a little different, given the brick wall Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) has proven to be.

So where can you watch the State of the Union online? CBSN and The New York Times are streaming it along with real-time fact-checking. NPR will also have a live fact-checking blog. ABC News and Twitter are streaming, but there are no plans for fact-checking on these platforms. The speech starts at 6 p.m. PT/9 p.m. ET.

If watching the State of the Union is the equivalent of watching torture for you, what if you turn it into a drinking game? You can play with alcohol, or if you’re like me … tea.

Related: PLAYLIST: ALT STATE OF THE UNION

Pre-game:

• Drink Responsibly. If you’re drinking tea, make sure it’s not too hot! ?
• Stay hydrated, eat food.

Drink the first time:

• You hear a boo or hiss from the audience.
• Trump references bullying or harassment.
• Trump references the “blue wave.”
• You see any of your state representatives on screen.
• He mentions any foreign entity by name (NAFTA, ISIS, Russia, EU, etc.).

Drink every time:

• President Trump says China or Mexico.
• President Trump makes a sexist basically any statement about Nancy Pelosi, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) or Maxine Waters (D-Calif.).
• Nancy Pelosi rolls her eyes.
• The camera pans to Melania and she looks bored.
• The camera pans to a 2020 Democratic presidential candidate: senators Kamala Harris (D-Calif.), Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.), Cory Booker (D-N.J.) or Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), or Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-Hawaii).
• Trump says “great” or “greatness.”
• Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) looks as if his soul is dying.

Finish your drink:

• Someone shouts out, “You lie!”
• One of your state representatives is not in attendance.
• Trump declares a national emergency.
• Someone walks out in protest or sneaks in a protest sign.
• If he quotes the Bible. Finish another if it’s misquoted.
• Vice President Mike Pence falls asleep or makes any facial expression at all.
• When referencing HIV or AIDS, Trump says something homophobic or racist.
• Trump doesn’t mention the government shutdown at all.
• You quit watching part-way through. Congratulations, you practiced self-care today!

Bonus round:

• Get crossfaded* if there’s a call for working across the aisle or bipartisanship. *Residents of states where weed is legal only.
• Take a shower or bath for every minute of the speech you watched.
• Call your mom.

Did you play? Let us know how you did! Tweet us at @itsYRMedia.