By LaLa’K
People always ask me why am I the way I am, my answer is always I don’t know I used to be too nice to people and I feel like I got walked over a lot cause they saw that I was really nice I had a habit of not saying no when I knew I should have but, since I felt like no one was there for me, I just wanted friends and someone I could look up to, so I felt I had to do everything for everyone so they would like me I had a lot of brothers and sisters but we really didn’t have a connection .and I didn’t live with my mom so I just wanted someone there. She was there but I wanted her there always. I wasn’t the most popular child. I was talked about a lot! Even though I didn’t show emotion, it was a burden in side me and I didn’t like talking to anybody about my problems, not even my mom. That’s why I have a hard time really expressing my self to people. I had a close friend that came into my life that I really trusted and felt that I could talk about everything to but in the end I felt used. So after that friendship went down hill I just felt like people really didn’t truly care about me so I lost trust and stayed to my self a lot. I’m learning day by day to accept myself for me and I don’t care how people feel about me cause your life is not promised to you. Because of my past and how things affected me, I have a new outlook about how I deal with things. Death these passed years have been taking a real toll on me cause you could be taken away at any time; there is no safe place anymore. You might be talking to your friend one day and get a call that they’re gone the next day. But I learned that things happen for a reason no matter who it is or how much you say it shouldn’t have been them everything happens for a reason. Bad out come or good I just learn to be me everyday; have fun like it’s my last day here and have positive energy towards everyone. Your biggest enemy could be your closest friend in the long run.
